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June 29, 2010
"I have a love-hate relationship to blogging. I love to peruse the great blogs out there, but sometimes it eats up my time. I love to think I have a place to validate my accomplishments, but then I feel pressure to keep it up. I love to read the comments people are kind enough to leave, but I always wish there were more. I sometimes love to "step outside myself" and watch how I might express something on a blog, but then I feel narcissistic. I think I have valid and valuable insights, but then I wonder who on earth would care. It's the old tug and pull of trying to define self. Who do I want to be, and why? And does it matter to anyone else? Or should it, even? "
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[A good soul sent me the following email. I'm adding the comments here, because every viewpoint adds to the whole....]
"I am sad, I hope this break doesn't take long.
.... my joy comes from sharing, not in the end result of what people do with what I share. Maybe that's how blogging is..... it's about a desire to share. The downside is caring about what others do with what you share. Maybe blogging is like Karma...... the more goodness you put out there the more goodness makes its way back. You definitely send out a lot of good karma.... have faith that it will make it back to you."
- Marie, blogging is ALL about narcissism. Sometimes I'm tempted to write a post that just says, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, and more me me me me me me. Look forward to your return and the new blog.
- June 29, 2010 2:17 PM
- Jonathon said...
- If blogging is about narcissism, then isn't all creative expression? No one creates in a vacuum; whether or not we want to share it with others, others will see our expression, and judge it. Blogging is a form of writing and authorship. And now more than ever technology has made it easy to participate in "The Great Dialogue."
4 comments:
I woke up this morning thinking about blogging and how it has helped me to be realistic about relationships. I've formed some pretty consistent friendships through blogging, which is more than I can say about other means of connection I have tried.
There have been times I've dabbled in petty jealousy as I see faithful readers expand their horizons into my bloglist and claim some of my readers as theirs. But like 'real' life, that's how we find each other, how we form associations, see commonalities. Have I applied the detachment I feel in blogland to my personal life? Yes, I have. I realize I can't own any of my relationships, even with my children. I can own the feelings I have, but I can't impose any conditions or rules on anyone I love. Why has it taken me over 50 years to realize you can't badger people into loving you back?
Jonathan is right. We don't live in a vacuum. What we do affects other people, but we have no control over people's reactions (at least in blogland). We put it out their and risk depths of ridicule we never hear about - and we know this, but we do it anyway. Mary Ann saw the picture in a recent post featuring my Granny pants as I stretched out on a tree limb. She was surprised I would revel in that. Oh well. There may have been others who thought it unseemly, but didn't comment. That's why we have children. Reality checks. But, oh well. I still get to decide what my reality is and it changes as often as my posts do sometimes.
Since bringing my mom to my home to care for her, blogging has been a little avenue to sanity. When the person who gave you birth asks if it's morning or night, it's nice to be able to sit at the computer and see the light of everyone's days.
Kinda wish I'd said "pants' instead of posts.
I do not see blogging as narcissism. I see it as a way to share thoughts and observations and, possibly since I'm of an age when a little wisdom should have been gleaned from seven decades of mostly thoughtful living, some words of wisdom. Not all writing is to share, much is written and tucked away, maybe eventually destroyed. But blogging is out there, and we all know we are not just talking to ourselves whether or not anyone leaves comments for us. It's a big world, there are lots of lurkers and many incidental visitors. If we didn't feel we have something to share we wouldn't blog.
Many times I've been moved and, in a way, my life has been changed by things I read -- mainly in books, but lately also in blogs. I have observed that a person who writes something public can never know the impression his or her words will make on someone. Being a little [or a lot] moralistic, I think we have a responsibility to write honestly and with an idea of not just saying me, me, me, me, me, but of sharing what we can, be it serious or funny or beautiful or sad.
I have enjoyed your posts Marie, I have seen things through you eyes I couldn't have seen through anyone else's. I feel I know you a little bit through the voice of your blog. I hope you'll feel like continuing to write it.
I was being a little tongue-in-cheek about the narcissism thing. Narcissism isn't all bad, except when it's a personality disorder. All we have to share is ourselves. It's too bad we can't see expressions on faces or hear a tone of voice. I don't want to over-defend something I said in passing, but it seems June was a little offended by my comment. So be it. All I was saying is I feel quite self-absorbed sometimes when I write so much of my experience. I'm always surprised when someone takes me seriously or offers kind words of encouragement, as you do, Marie. It's nice to be validated in our on-going struggles to hold on to something meaningful.
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